When can I say "I finally let go"

Monday, October 17, 2016

Hello dearies! How's your weekend? Maulan at mabagyo ba like ours. While Typhoon Karen is leaving another typhoon named Lawin is coming. Sabi nila it's another super typhoon that falls in category 5 like Yolanda. He will hit Northen Luzon again. Let's pray na humina sya.

Anyways, I am a bit emotional right now. It must be the weather or it must because its Monday. Hay, the main reason is when this photo appeared in my Facebook timeline.

This photo was taken two years ago during Matthew's school foundation day. But this not the reason why I am emotional. This photo.

Matthew with Nanay while having afternoon merienda. Two years ago, Nanay was still here with us. And whenever I saw her in photos, I can't help but remember the days when she was already in enormous pain but she kept holding on because I won't let her go. 

Three months ago, she left us when I finally let her be with our creator. I experienced these twice. First with my father when I talked to God, leaving everything to Him during the time my father was sick. Same scenario happened when Nanay was dying. 

Ulila na ako, and I will never be complete again. I know I should let go, that most people tell me. But I tell you, it's so hard when there are so many memories to remember. Remembering those memories makes me feel happy and sad. But I can't help it. I am still grieving and praying she will find peace wherever she is right now.

Dearies, please pray for my Nanay's soul and please also pray for me so I can finally say "I finally let go."