How To Keep Your Relationship Strong When You Have Kids

We all live for those magical moments of joy and celebration of love in its highest form, a child. However, when the obligations rise, life starts to change, whether you want it or not, and your relationship with it. So, here you are in the middle of happiness and chaos, wondering if you can ever bring back what you had with your partner. But let me tell you, this is the perfect time to step back and remember that all of this started because of one person - your partner.

Behind the image of a strong and happy parent is an exhausted mom or dad waiting to hug the bed instead of the partner at the end of the day. So, it's totally fine that you need a good sleep after an exhausting day of cleaning, doing the dishes, taking baths, changing diapers, and cooking meals. Just the thought of doing the same routine tomorrow is exhausting! You probably don't even have the time to think about yourself, let alone sex. But it's in these moments when life's little pleasures can do a lot! It's always the right time to reignite the fire with your partner, so the real question is how to get back the suppressed spark? Here are some tips on how you can do that.

Redefine intimacy

In every healthy relationship, intimacy is so much more than sexual pleasure. Growing toddlers is exhausting and requires a lot of patience and energy, especially if it's done mostly by one of the partners. To find a way to get more intimate with your partner, try doing the responsibilities together or as equally as possible. Don't leave the burden to one side only. Doing things together will also help you stay emotionally closer and help you connect on a deeper level. The real intimacy is in the small everyday things.

Take a break

Finding time for yourself is a real struggle when you have kids. You've just woken up, and before you realize it, it's bedtime again, so you've probably contemplated running away and getting a break in your head a few times. It's crucial to be honest and talk things through with your partner during these moments. When you've had enough for the day or week, step aside and take some solo time to relax or do something you enjoy. Only when you're healthy, well, and happy will you be a good partner for your spouse and a good parent for your kids.

Don't forget to communicate

No matter how long and well you know each other, it's always easier to communicate your needs or feelings rather than being angry. Being a parent with all those responsibilities puts a lot of pressure on people, and everyone reacts differently to it. Often, the things we don't say end up speaking louder through our actions, so take note of these nonverbal signs and react. Always acknowledge and verbalize your partner's effort and be grateful for the things they've done. Make them feel supported and appreciated for their work, and you'll notice the positive emotional cues straight away.

Make time for yourself

The first five years of your kids' lives will be the most demanding. It's the time when the kids are dependable, so you need to be present in every activity they do. During this period, it's essential that you don't forget about yourself and your wellbeing. Whether it's a 30-minute coffee break on the porch, yoga, or a quick chat with your friends, you need to do something that makes you happy. Parents convey their energy to the children and channel their emotions, so take time to fill your batteries and embrace the things that make you happy.

While you're at it, make sure that your partner has his own time off too. You are together on this journey, so easing the pressure from time to time is beneficial for your relationship.

Sneak out and make out

When was the last time you did something adventurous with your partner? Sounds tempting, right? So why not do it? Once a month (at least), find a couple of hours for just the two of you. If you can find someone to take care of your kids for a whole night, even better! You can take a trip where you first met, have a romantic dinner, spice things in the bedroom with something new like strap-ons for couples, or just enjoy cuddling all night. Do things that will strengthen your relationship and keep your partner emotionally invested. Don't lose yourself and your spark among the responsibilities. Take your time and cherish these moments of romance.

Grow together

If you find yourself in a situation where you think you've had enough, remember it's just a phase. Your relationship and marriage will have ups and downs, but you must remember that it's all relative. Once the kids grow up and become independent, you will have more time to enjoy each other again. Meanwhile, there will be obstacles pushing you forward and making you a stronger couple, appreciating the life you created together.

 
Final thoughts

Remember, a healthy relationship takes commitment, work, and adapting. Try to make it work because your marriage matters to your children, not only to you and your partner. If it's any consolation, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Regardless of how your marriage or sex life is doing, there is always someone to talk with, so don’t feel ashamed of it. Keep your head up high and keep working on your relationship with your partner. The rest will follow.