Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Dealing with Our Toddlers' Tantrums

One of my fears is closely coming. And it is how to discipline my little toddler. Yes, he is just a 16-month old toddler who cannot control his emotions.
My Husband and I were driving home after a busy work and we have discussed how our little boy is behaving these past days. We thought it is just that he is copying his playmate’s tantrums. But as the day goes by, he is becoming more of a monster every time he wants something he cannot get ASAP. I told my Husband, I really miss our little boy when he is just an infant who just sleep, smile, eat and make cutie actions. He is indeed a happy baby. He never gave us sleepless nights. But now, everything goes upside down and uncontrollable.
I know a lot of Mom out there is dealing with the same problem. And for a working Mom like me, who is out for 12 hours or more, this is much difficult to handle. Because of the stress in our work, we seldom lose our temper as well, which adds more to our frustrations.
Toddler temper tantrum is very common between the ages of one and three. We must accept that our previously loving and gentle toddler will have to undergo change of personality. He will try not to follow and accept our rules but insist his own, which in turn results to losing his temper.

In dealing with toddler temper tantrums, we must decide which is important. It will always be a battle of wills if we have our own way in everything our toddler disagrees with. The best way is to make fewer rules that our toddler more likely to adhere with and to make him realize that those rules are important.

When we already know what is important, we must stand by it and make it consistent. We must not give in.

Toddler will throw tantrums to try to get what they want and most of the time they will succeed. They will cry to annoy us and everyone around us when you do not give something he wants. Then if you give in just to make him stop, he will do it again to get it. So, if their tantrums never yield the results they want, they will soon realize that it is not effective and will give up.

The following are a number of things you can do when your child is in the middle of a tantrum, without having to give in:

Ignore him.

Our toddlers throw tantrums to attract our attention and if we donn’t give him that, he will lose interest and stop the tantrums. But we must assure that he is in a safe place where he will not bumped into something and hurt his self.

Send him to bed or to his room.

This gives both of you a cooling down period. As parents, we are the ones who can control emotions better so we should not lose our tempers as well.

Distract him.

Start to play with a new toy, get your child a drink, and go outside for a walk. Do all we can to make his attention out of what he is crying at.

Lastly, communication between us and our children is more important. Whenever my son is out of his control, I’ll make him look into my eyes then I will speak softly to him. It is always like hypnotism to him, he will then follow me. A gentle touch also will help soothes him.

We must always remember that tantrums are part of a child’s development and we cannot avoid them completely. We, as parents have gone to phase like this as well. Shower him with love and just the attention they need. For the love that we are giving our child will definitely help him go through this roller coaster phase of their lives.

There is no manual for a good parenting, though. It is innate and a continuous learning process.


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