Tuesday, June 9, 2015

First Day of School + Mommy Guilt

Our little boy is officially back to school.

Yesterday was his first day in school. His class will start at 7am until 10. So he needs to wake up early in the morning to prepare for school. Good thing he is used to waking up early in the morning. That's because when we leave for work, which is before 7am, he wants to be awake so he can give us kisses and say good bye.

By the way, last Saturday, his dad covered all his books and notebooks. The boy was so happy especially when he saw the personalized Spiderman labels that I made.

Going back to the first day of school. He asked his dad to drive him to school even if it's just a few steps from our home. He wanted us to bring him to school since this is just once, we agreed. After he went inside the room, we left for work naman. We were late na plus there's a long traffic pa due to road construction.

He brought home two big stars :)

When we went back home, I asked him how was his first day of school. Being so talkative, he immediately told me what had happened that day. 

Then he told me that his two classmates were crying. And that one of them doesn't want his mom to leave him inside the room. He said, "sobrang gusto nya po kasi sa mommy nya e." I asked him, "Ikaw di mo ba gusto si mommy mo? Di ka umiiyak sa school?" He replied, "Kasi po nasanay na akong iniiwan nyo ako. Lagi kasi kayo umaalis kaya okay lang ako." Coming from a 4-year old boy, the word "nasanay" really hurts me.

The never ending mommy guilt strikes again. I told him, I need to work he said it's okay. As if he really understand what I am saying, he then said "pero di po ba noong nawalan ako yaya kayo po naghahatid sa akin at nag-aalaga." I said yes and asked him he likes that, he just smile. I hugged him tight.

I wonder when will this mommy guilt go away. But I think this will never go away because I feel that I can never be enough as a mom and the pain just get intense every time. I am just thankful that I have  a very understanding and loving boy. Who never fail to make me smile.

Hay... Just feeling a little emotional guys but I'm pretty okay. Through the years, I manage to always look at the brighter side of life and accept things as it is. I have strong faith in God that He will grant the desire of heart in His time.

Are you experiencing mommy guilt too?

Have great week everyone! 
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