Thursday, June 25, 2015

11 Most Important Lessons I have Learned as A Mom

Parenting is a daily learning process. Like every mom, dad or parent said, it's never an easy job. It's like riding a roller coaster. Our children can turn our world upside down. One minute we are happy, the next minute we are sad or angry. In short, our children can drive us crazy.

But a lot of parents will probably agree that parenthood is one of the best thing that can ever happen to us. We can change ourselves without even knowing we did. Most of the times we changed for the better.

As a mom to a 5-year old boy, I have learned a lot from our daily experiences and from moms like me. So now let me share the lessons I have learned as a mom.

1. Parenting is not about perfection.

As a mom, I want my son to have a perfect life. A life free of pain, mistakes and harm. The more I keep my son away from pain and mistakes, the more life is testing me. Because life is not perfect. That it's okay to commit mistakes as long as you are learning. My son needs to experience everything life has to offer to be a strong and good man he should be.

2. My son is unique.

I must admit that I passed through the stage when I talked a lot about my son's milestones. You can't blame me, I am a proud mom. It even came to a point that, silently, I was already comparing my son with other children. This stage gave me a lot of frustrations that I forgot my son has his own time, and he is unique.

3. Mommy guilt will never go away.

As a working mom, mommy guilt has always been my worst enemy. You know the feeling that even you already gave your best, it's still not enough? Even if I know I am doing the right thing, at the back of my mind, I'm still questioning my ability as a mother. Especially at times when my son is not behaving the way I want him to. It gets even painful when you hear your own child saying he didn't cry at school because he's already used to being always left by us. But I have to live with this mommy guilt and accept that it will never go away because I am mother. And it's forever.

4. Enjoy every minute with my son (and take a lot of photos together, haha!)

Because I am a working mom, I can not spend all the time I want with my son. So instead of getting mad when we have no house help, I take this chance as an opportunity to be with my son. During times like this, I forget about everything and stop thinking. I just enjoy every minute I get to spend with my son.

5. Build trust and open communication by listening.

My son talks a lot. He asks too much questions and he always needs answers. I see to it I always listen to him. But one thing I noticed, when he did something wrong he doesn't want that to be talked about. When asked, he will tell us "I don't know." Maybe he thinks I will get mad. So I always tell him, "Please tell mommy, I will listen. I will not get mad if you tell me the truth." This way, I can build his trust on me, and be open to us.

6. Hugs and kisses are the best medicine.

Being a working mom, I always look forward to going home and receiving hugs and kisses from my son. The best medicine for a stressful day. Agree?

7. Be creative and resourceful.

I think I don't need to elaborate this one. Right moms? Seriously, you will learn to be a DIY queen like Martha Stewart, when you are a mom.

8. Spend wisely and work harder. 

I have learned to plan our spending. I also work even harder and look for ways to earn more (Read: How to Make Money Online. These are all for our son and his future.

9. Being weak at times can make me stronger

We moms are like superwomen to our kids. We must be strong and patient. Unfortunately, we are only humans. We can be sick and may lose our temper. We get hurt and experience breakdown from time to time. We get weak because of all of these breakdowns. But one thing good about this is, it can make us even stronger.

10. I am the only person who can completely understand my son.

The other night, I got upset when I have learned my son is not obeying my sister. She said when they forbid him to do something, he will not listen. He always shout and he didn't want to share his things. I talked to him inside our bedroom. I asked him why he was behaving that way, he said "I don't know." I asked him was he upset and kulang sa pansin, he said yes.  I figured it out, since his cousins younger than him are at home, he may think he's being disregarded. I told him, he should learn to guard his feelings because people will not understand him. They will quickly judge him as impolite and disrespectful. And as his mom who can feel how he feels, I am the only person who can completely understand him. I am the very last person who will judge him.

11. Not to quickly judge a parent based on their child's behavior.

Before I became a mom, it's just easy for me to judge a mom based on their child's behavior. Those irritated looks being thrown at you because you can n not handle your child. But it takes one to know one. So when I see a mom with a crying child, I just give her a comfort smile because I now know how it feels to be caught in such situation.

These are the 11 most important lessons I have learned as a mom. It's just 5 years of being a mom but my life had changed forever.

Would love to know the lessons you have learned as a mom, mommies. Daddies are welcome to share theirs as well.
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