Okay, this is another late post.
Two weeks ago, Matthew had his first Pajama Party at school. That was Friday and students were asked to go to school at 6 PM. Pre-elem to Grade 3 stayed until 10PM only, while the higher grades stayed overnight. Matthew was super excited.
I promised that we will go home early so we can accompany him to school and of course took photos of him. However, we were called for a meeting at our main office and the meeting ended late. Tapos na-traffic kami sa NLEX dahil sa isang van na tumagilid at umuusok pa. Ang daming araw bakit noon pa. If only Daddy A can make the car fly, I will ask him to do so we can go home na and fulfill our promise to our son.
We arrived home passed 8 already and they were all inside their classroom watching a movie daw. May mommy na lumapit sa akin and ask me if we already got a a photo of Matthew. She's so kind to show me these photos that I grabbed from her FB. Photo credits to Mommy. Thank you po.
Here's Matthew with his bestfriend/enemy. Ang cute lang!
When I looked at the other uploaded photos, here are the photos I saw. Evidence that our Matthew is such an energetic kid. Haha!
Then there's an award pala for best in pajama. These two cute kids won, and look at Matthew at the back.
He was sad pala that he didn't won. Dapat daw meron sya pajama na may butones, hehe. Then I have learned from the school Director that when his teacher announced the winners, Matthew said daw "ay ang daya!." I told him, next year babawi kami and also remind him to be a good sports. I also told him to be happy for his classmates because they are all friends.
When we were already home that night and about to sleep, I asked him what they have done inside the room. He started to make kwento then sya naman nagtanong...
Matthew: Mommy, bat po di ko kayo nakita noong kumakain na kami?
I was surprised.
Mommy: Kasi anak na-late kami ng dating e. Andun ba mga mommies ng classmates nyo?
Mommy: Sorry anak, kung pwede lang lumipad car ni Daddy. Traffic pa.
Matthew: Okay lang po. Kaya ko naman...
This was one of the most heartbreaking conversations we had. Ang sakit pag galing mismo sa anak mo yun tanong kung bakit wala ako. Mas nakaka-guilty pa when he said "Okay lang po. Kaya ko naman..." Ouch anak!
I am lucky that our son is an independent boy. He still went the party even without us and when he saw us after the party, he didn't showed he was upset with us. At 5, he can understand that I need to work and can not be with him in all the time he needs me.
Mommy guilt strikes again. Sorry guys if this supposedly happy post ended dramatically. I just can't help but feel guilty and sad whenever I remember that night. All I can do now is to pray for our son's safety whenever we are not around. And to guide me with all the decisions I need to do in the future. I believe God has a better plan and this is how things should be for now.
Anyone who can relate? I know I am not alone. Hugs please :'(