Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Today I'll Be More Kind and Patient

The Lord God is showing me so much that I should be thankful for. He's telling me I should not worry about what will happen in the future for He is in control.

The truth is I often lose my faith in Him. I sometimes don't trust His plans. I worry a lot thus I feel so stress, impatient and unkind.

That's why it's a big slap on my face when I realize one day that God will never forsake us. That made me wake up from a bad dream. A bad dream that only me created. So allow me to tell you something that might also help you realize the greatness of God.

Recently, I am worrying about money matters. There's this circumstance that Daddy and I needed to face, even if we are not the one accountable for that. I am glad though that Daddy is so understanding on this situation we need to deal with. We need to shed money from our savings, that's why I am so stressed and worried. It came to a point that I feel so unfair because in the first place we work so hard to earn our living and we never step on anyone's foot.

In this moment when I almost lose hope, I pray to God for strength and better understanding. I can't even remember if I ask for money but after just days an opportunity came in our way. As though I am not convinced yet, another blessing came.

Crochet Shell Hat and Sandals

A client asked us to crochet 400 mini booties for souvenir. The photo above though is the last MTO we crochet for this year. I am still in awe of the blessings we are receiving. God is really good that He immediately replaced what was lost and it's more than what I asked for.

Lately, I have been impatient with my mother. Because I feel so exhausted and helpless, it came to a point when I even told her I am so tired of her. I want her to help her self to overcome her condition. Seeing her looking weak and has almost no life is so painful especially that I have grown to know her as a strong woman. The woman who had guided a lot of students when she's still working as dormitory manager. The woman who inspired me to do good.

Now, I am not seeing that woman. She suddenly lose the strength to live and to fight. It frustrates me to see her that way. It stress me actually, to see her almost lifeless. But I know it shouldn't be an excuse to be impatient. Because I never heard her saying "I'm so tired of you" when I am still dependent on her.

For the 20 years of my life, she has been my constant companion. She had never allowed me to wash my clothes and she had untiringly prepared my breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday. She had done everything to give us a better life. How can I ever forget that? I am an ungrateful daughter and I will forever regret saying that I am tired of her.

And so I will me more patient. I will take care of her more. I will not get tired helping her change her clothes. I will prepare her food and give her medicine everyday. I will not complain if she's becoming clumsy and careless. I will love her more for who knows until when can I be with her.

That's it. I hope you get to learn from my story. It's not easy to share but it's something I am proud to overcome with God's grace and guidance.

Have a great day everyone!
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