Yes momsies, Matt's Tita (nanny/yaya) finally bid goodbye. What can I do it's her decision naman. I know it's so hard to find a trustworthy yaya. That's why when she asked our permission for a 2-week vacation, I sensed already that she has other plan na.
Like a song "some good things never last," we have to find an immediate replacement for her. I told you naman that Matt's yaya is so masipag, malinis sa bahay and I know how much she loves Matt. But I have learned about the stories of her wrong doings and words that really hurt me. It hurts me because I don't expect her to act like that and as far as I know we are good to her. I fully trust her kasi. I trust Matt to her then all of the sudden she's doing not right to my son pala. No, I don't confront her but God knows how much I want to tell that to her face. I told Daddy that when she feels like moving out then we just have let her go. As much as possible I don't want to see her go with a heavy heart. Still, I respect her being the sister of my MIL's sister-in-law.
Thank God my sister is there to take care of Matt while we are searching for new yaya. But what if we can't find a good one? Do I really need to resign and stay at home? I would love to. I always for that actually. I know God will lead us to a good decision.
I know Matt will be a child just once. Most of the times I feel guilty that I am wasting years of his childhood not being there for him 24/7. That because I want to give everything he wants, I am not there when he needs me. Adding up is the thought that he is being mistreated. My heart is broken. Now I understand why he's acting differently when we are around. Maybe he feels free when Daddy and Mommy are inside the house. He can do what he wants to do. He will get what he asks for. He's not deprive and will never be again.
I hate to end this post with a sad thought so let me share this with you.
He may be a hyperactive, talkative, playful boy. But he is also a loving, caring, sweet and happy boy. You may hate him for being hyperactive or for not quickly following the rules but that's not a reason for him to be deprived and mostly, be hurt. He is just a 3-year old boy who knows nothing much about discipline but he listens when needed. He will stop when summoned. He needs patience, understanding and love. I know no one can give that more than Mommy can do. I love him and will fight for him.
Oh enough, my tears are about to fall. Just let me share our warm conversation last night when there's a thunderstorm. When I heard the thunder, I immediate turn off the TV and close the window. When I am about to lay done Matt told me, "Mommy wag na matakot Mommy ha." Then he hugged me and kiss me saying "I love you Mommy." Isn't he's the sweetest?
And so the search is on... With God's grace I know we can find a better replacement or will help us make the best decision for us. We can make it through.