Thursday, February 14, 2013

Parenting Tips: Sshhh... Bad words...

It is never easy to raise and discipline a child. It will always be a roller coaster ride for us parents right? Our children also undergo certain stages when their behavior, attitudes and interests changed too. If it's hard for us, it is also hard for them. So it really helps for us parents to understand our children.

There are lots of resources we can read to help us understand our children's behavior at certain age. There's no perfect way to discipline and raise a child. It's a trial and error actually. We need to be more patient.

My almost 32-month old son is no different to any other children. After being a cute, quiet and lovable baby, he is now an adventurous, talkative, hyperactive but still cute little boy. He is so talkative that he will repeat any word or sound he hears. That's why we are very careful with what we are saying.

As early as now he can already hear some children in the neighborhood saying bad words so I told him that saying such is not good.

One night, while we are watching news...

Nanay: Ang g*g* naman nyan lalaki na yan. (she said it unintentionally or she might got carried away with what she's watching)

Matt was busy writing on his table and heard that.

Matt: Nanay, bad un ha. Wag g*g*g* ha? Bad un.

Oh yes, he said that. As if he is talking like an adult. Nanay said sorry. Hehe.

Just this morning, Matt cried because he thought Daddy left without kissing him goodbye. His Daddy just bought our water from the nearby store.

Tita: Bumili lang water si Daddy.

Matt still sobbing.

Tita: Mamaya pagdating nya paluin natin ha.

Matt: Hindi. Bad un. Bad un papalo.

I am glad he is picking up pretty well all our teachings. Though sometimes, stubbornness visits him, his behavior is still manageable.

Also, it really pays off to discipline your child early. Since there's no one way to discipline our children, here's some tips which you might find helpful in the future.

1. Start to discipline your child while he is still young. Some might say, you are pushing your child too much since he is too young. You don't need to really impose military discipline. Based it on their age,just  little by little. They may not understand us but like learning how to talk and walk, they will also learn it naturally.

2. Study your children's behavior. I always watch my son's behavior when he's having a sudden change of moods. Most of the times, tantrums happen when he get frustrated over something. So when I can see something that will make him feel really bad, I try to move him away. I also notice he wants independence so I let him do some things he can do. Like throwing at trash can, putting back his glass on the table and arranging his toys.

3. Don't easily give in with tantrums. This is really hard for me. It melts my heart to see my son crying but sometimes I need to let him cry buckets. This helps him to express his feelings and control his emotions. I told him cry and after that, we can talk. For much younger children, it is much harder. But there are lots of ways you can try to avoid and handle tantrums.

4. Watch your words and actions. Children are great imitators so always be a good example. They say our children will grow like us. It is not necessarily exactly like we are but they will surely get some of our traits and even attitude, good or bad. They will learn to face life based on how we show them. They will learn to communicate to others the way they see us. They will learn to respect others in the way we treat people. Sometimes, imposing something that we, parents, will be harder. Like saying "po" and "opo", and praying, or brushing teeth, hehe. How will they follow us when we are not doing it? Show them you are doing it and they will easily get it.

5. Respect your children. Respect begets respect. Even if they are young, they have their own rights too. Don't push them too much. Don't just scream at them with just a mistake. If he refused to do something it doesn't mean they already disobeying you. Know the reason why, since you are the one who better understand. And of course, don't place them in a situation where they have no choice. Giving them choices will help them to learn in their decision making and this makes them feel better for their selves. Thus, boosting their self-confidence.

6. Show them love and appreciation. My son loves to be cuddle, kiss and hug. See, he will really cry when he wake up in the morning without seeing us. So we make sure we leave the house when he is already awake. He will really kiss and hug us. He will say, "loves mommy, loves daddy", which means kiss. And now his big hug. When we got back from work, he will immediately run to our veranda and peep to see us stepping down the car. He will excitedly say, "ayun si mommy, ayun si daddy" and he will kiss us and make mano. That's why I love going home :)

He loves hearing good phrases too. He will gladly show us his works like when he solve his puzzles or when he draw a triangle, a circle, a cat. He loves it when we say very good and kiss him. Those are enough for him to give us a big, big smile.

7. Lastly, be patient. Patience is a virtue. Being more patient with your children will really help you a lot. Count before you talk or before you take an action in times when you are losing your patient. When I am in that situation that I have no choice but to really hit my son because he will not listen, I look at his face. When I see how cute and innocent he is, my heart melts and all I can do is to grab him, kiss and tickle him until he say please stop. Haha.

That's all I can share for now. I am just a new mom and I know there are more challenges and struggles to come. I will gladly appreciate any tips/experiences you can share. 

With that here's my cute, sometimes silly, sweet little son.

Oh boy, how can you ever get mad with this gwapito?

Happy Parenting!

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